19 thoughts on “Patriarchy

    1. Ah ah, yes, at least I have my blog, and my newspaper.

      Listen to blogger Agebuster (here her *original post*):

      “Newspapers often refer to the patriarchal culture of Italy and a gender gap that places men high above women. (…)
      Let me tell you, this may be true of Italy. But once Italian men began emigrating to America and marrying on these grounds, they seemed to have lost many of their natural rights. They became #2 in the family. It was the Italian-American wife who took over. My mother was the head of family, lawgiver, decision maker. She was the boss in the every sense. Men did their jobs, brought home the pay, and then read the newspapers.”

      This shows how my post was inspired by *AgeBuster*, a very good blog by a NYC woman of 70+. I thus commented there:

      “The patriarchal culture of Italy hardily survives somewhere, especially in the South, the Mezzogiorno, and even there is challenged. The image our prime minister Silvio Berlusconi gives of our country is outdated.

      Here also, inside the family, often the woman is the law-giver. And the men read the newspapers.”

      I have to say that, as for myself, I have exaggerated my status a bit, and that my wife is a wonderful person.

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  1. In the rural and working classes of Québec the wife was often more litterate than her husband. Many managed the family’s finances. In municipal councils the men were in power…but many women were pulling the strings and were the actual bosses. A favorite tool was the denial of sex to recalcitrant husbands who soon yielded.
    I’ve always wondered why women fought so hard to become our equals when they had always been our superiors?

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    1. Interesting Paul. I’m wondering if this happens for the Latin Canadians only (French, Italian) or for the Anglos too. I’m asking because, as for Italy (and maybe a bit for other Latins too), Northern non-Latin Europeans say women here are tougher than men, that we have this mamma mother-earth complex (mamma mia, mamma mia) but, at the same time, that we are also patriarchal- I think they should make up their minds.

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  2. Generally, I think feminism has created a better world (my daughters are surely freer than my sisters were), although I’ve always thought the 70s egalitarianism has confused things a bit here. Men and women are different and complementary. The woman in my view is better equipped to manage and control the “inner” circle (family, family finances, children, neighbourhood etc.) while men seem better equipped as for the “outer” circle: town, politics, war etc. This also influences men’s and women’s average curiosities, interests. It is a tendency though, and it can be modified. We actually have more and more women operating in the outer circle, and men active in the inner one.

    But whenever I talk about these 2 circles as a “tendency of the species” my women frown a lot upon me.

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  3. My women would also frown upon me if I said such a thing. My comment about management and influence of our women applies to the anglos in the same social stratas, rural and working class. As for the upper classes women seem more aloof and social oriented.
    It is a bit different amongst recent muslim and asian immigrants but the sons and daughters get on board very fast creating major family conflicts.

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  4. @Paul
    So the Canadian Anglos and Latins do not differ as for the strong role of the woman in the family. And participation of women to wider social matters increases according to class and instruction. Not very different from here. As for Asia I understand what you mean. Many male and female Indian commenters have complained at my blog that women in India are not considered much and are in a state of more or less submission. This is less and less true in the cities, where the young Indian women are fighting and gaining much power and getting ‘on board’ too, as you say. Nita, Reema, Poonam Sharma etc. are very militant. In some Muslim countries though the submission of women may be hard, though I am convinced that in many Muslim families the role of the woman is very strong nonetheless. The woman is the woman, no matter where she lives.

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  5. I used to have a muslim child care worker. He was from pundjab. He clearly did not live only with his salary. His wife was a lawyer and a professor in one of our universities and his daughters were pursuing doctorates in sociology. He was, or said he was, from a rajah family.
    He invited us, the wife and I, in his home for dinner. The three women were wearing beautifull saris and were the perfect hostesses, they let the man do the talking…until after dinner. Then they came into their own and we had an evening to remember. That night, we met three indian women before dinner and they became three other women after dinner.

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    1. So, no matter what, there was some kind of respect for the man who had to do the talking during dinner. I’ll tell you, this doesn’t happen here. Interesting the metamorphose of the three women once dinner finished. Probably the dinner was regulated like a rite, with rules dictated by tradition.

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  6. There are some blogs, where their commander positions are threatened… like in Nita’s blog where the commenter’s voice is heard much louder than the authors and the author has to get in once in a while to remind the readers who is the actual owner of the blog! 🙂

    Some of the commenters reply to various other commenters too… since this trend is developing, it is better to be careful 😉

    Destination Infinity

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    1. Ahh, so you mean I could lose command even here? Ha ah ah.
      Well, Commander … it’s a big word. As for Nita, it is she who decides the topic and provides the materials and infos for the discussion. And her posts are so good and well planned. This is why she is so successful. I don’t mind when commenters interact with each other, or when comments are better than my posts, why not? Only, since every blogger has created his /her own home it’s up to him /her both the topics and who’s part of the discussion. So the Blogger is the commander anyway. [pfuiiiiii]
      🙂

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